I, FOR ONE, ENJOYED THE END OF BLACK SAILS

1. Either James Flint was a monster or he was not. 
2. If James Flint was a monster either his monstrosity was a temporary condition or it was permanent. 
3. If James Flint’s monstrosity was a temporary condition this condition either had a contingent cause or not
4. If this monstrosity had a contingent cause that cause was empire or the cause was not empire. 
5. If the cause was empire England had its reasons or it had none. 
6. If England had its reasons the reasons arose out of something Jame Flint did or they did not. 
7. If England’s reasons arose out of something James Flint did either it was a criminal act of sodomy (not to say the unsavory nature of Thomas Hamilton’s bid for Nassau) or it was not. 
8. If it was a criminal act of sodomy (not to say the unsavory nature of Thomas Hamilton’s bid for Nassau) either this action occurred or it did not.
9. If it did not occur either we are now in reverse and by continuing to reason in this way we are likely to arrive in one of the Season 2 flashbacks or we are not. 
10. If we are now in reverse and by continuing to reason in this way are likely to arrive back at the beginning of the question of the monstrosity of James Flint either we will go along without incident or we will meet Flint on our way back. 
11. If we meet Flint on our way back either we will keep quiet or we will look him in the eye and ask him what he thinks of England. 
12. If we look Flint in the eye and ask him what he thinks of England he will tell the truth or he will lie. 
13. If Flint lies either we will know at once that he is lying or we will be fooled, much like the rest of the cast, because now that we are in reverse the whole landscape looks inside out. 
14. If we are fooled, much like the rest of the cast, because now that we are in reverse the whole landscape looks inside out either we will find that we must look for blue things when the thought of unreality comes upon us too quickly or we will call England up and tell them the good news. 
15. If we call England up either they will sit in their powdered wigs and let it ring or they will forward the call to Nassau. 
16. If they forward the call to Nassau either Nassau will sit in their brothels and sand and let it ring or they will forward the call to Long John Silver.
17. If  we call Long John Silver up either he will answer or he will answer.
18. If he answers either we will (as they say) leave well enough alone or we will put Flint on. 
19. If we put Flint on either he will contend that he now sees more clearly than ever before the truth about his monstrosity or he will admit he is just a man. 
20. If Flint admits he is a monster either we will melt into the crowd or we will stay to see how Silver reacts. 
21. If we wait to see how Silver reacts either the screen will cut to black or we will count blue plates, blue weights, blue scarves, and the blue of an ocean painted and hung in a frame upon a blue wall. 
22. If we are to count blue plates, blue weights, blue scarves, and the blue of an ocean painted and hung in a frame upon a blue wall, either we will be expected to respond to the lady of the blue house the answer of whether Flint was a monster or we will not.
23. If Flint was a monster either we will lie or if not not.

(I, For One, Enjoyed the End of Black Sails is a parody of Anne Carson’s Clearing Up the Question of Stesichoros’ Blinding by Helen, published in Autobiography of Red in 1998.)